it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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