Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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