Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
