Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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