wanna go halves on a baby?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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