You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
