Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
