It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
wow bdsm is so cute
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize