i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
