you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize