I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
