saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?