my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?