About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml