if i can run in heels then i can drive
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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