Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
