Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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