i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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