you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Send help, water and tortillas.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
