I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize