they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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