wanna go halves on a baby?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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