shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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