i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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