I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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