Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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