I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize