It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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