its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
