you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
