I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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