Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
