I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
