you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
