Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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