then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
