I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
