so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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