So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
