somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
