don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
