What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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