Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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