why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
