my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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