What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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