I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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