I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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