saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
