we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
