Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
