so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
