Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
