from now on my penis is your penis
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
