Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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