I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
