brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize